Feelin' Hot-Hot-Hot

The flight into Cairo went smoothly. I spent part of the time just watching my babe Cleo snoozing next to me, and the other part snoozing myself. A transatlantic flight tends to be demanding, and those Zs don't catch themselves.

When we got to the hotel, we set down our bags and turned right around to leave. Since then, I've been making sure Cleo's treated like an Egyptian goddess. The first place we went was to the Crystal Factory, where I picked up a jewelry box for Cleo. We spent about half the day there, then half the day browsing little marketplaces for trinkets.

Really, though, I did want to get back to the hotel room. I could hardly believe when I saw it, but it was there! Waiting for us in the room! A Nintendo Wii! It was hysterical to pick out little avatars of ourselves and send them into a target-shooting field. Well, that wasn't funny. What was funny was watching about six copies of our avatars running around the screen like crazy, trying to avoid being abducted by aliens while screaming like chipmunks.

Angel thinks I'm a nerd, but hey, a guy's gotta have his hobbies, am I right? Well, I have to turn in. Tomorrow we're visiting the pyramids, and we'll be riding camels. Wish us luck!

I will be chill...

I am calm. I am calm. I am calm.

I am calmER.

Man, whoever had the nerve to send a poser into my flat as some repair or maintinence person to install a recording system.... you're just bogus. I mean... and-and-and hacking into my accounts to post what I said? What is the point? So I took a trip down memory lane, so what? It's not like other people don't do it! But because someone took my blogs on a joyride, I can't show my face! Yeah, you heard me! I'm not going on my shows anymore. Whoever did this was probably some deranged fan or something, and now they're not gonna get to see Kip Deshler doing his thing anymore. Hah! See how you like that! Cause when I find out who you are, you are so... so...

I am calm. I am calm. I am calm.

CalmER.

This thing messed me up, man. Saige came to help me balance out, but this balancing stuff is hard. It's easier to just go off the deep end. No can do, I guess. So no, I'm not really boycotting my own show--though I really don't want to be on it now. It's being passed all around the net as major "lulz". I should know, I've been on my computer ever since the incident happened, trying to find the guy who did this to me. Be assured, I'm gonna get him.

Oh man, just listen to me. I gotta plan a getaway with my Angel soon.

Nostalgic Musings

*Beginning transcription of recording KD072209-1*

I don't see why I have to go through this stuff, it's all just junk. It should all go in the trash. *something rattles and clanks* Box of junk. Nothing but... hey... *more rattling* hey-hey, my first yo-yo! Man, I wore the string out so many times, I learned all kinds of tricks with it. No way! And... naw... duuuuuude, my Spiderman comic books! Heh, no mints here, but definitely well-read. Aw crud, pages are missing. Well, still, these go on the shelves. Place of honor.

Okay, so it's not junk, what's... NAW! Oh man, I gotta do something about this. Rico, I'll call my man Rico.

Hey, Rico? It's Kip. Yeah, look, I found an old cassette tape, got anything in your tech gear that can take tracks from a tape and stick 'em on a Nano? Yeah, found this old tape, and I really want to listen to it. Thanks Rico, I owe you one.

Hah! Oh man, I listened to this when I was a kid! Boom Boom Ain't It Great to be Crazy, Skip Along Tippy Toes... my favorite! Little Bunny Foo Foo! Hah, just wait till I get this on my Nano. Man, this'll bring back so many memories... *rhythmic snapping* Little bunny Foo-Foo hopping through the forest. Scooping up the field mice and kissing them on the head. *kissing sound*

*Ending transcription of recording KD072209-1*

Generalities

Hello, hello, to one and all. Kicking back for a few days with my girl Cleo before the next vacay, and this time I'll be sure to take my Angel with me. But for now, we're just hangin' out.

Ari's party was great for Cleo. I mean, the expert in clothes didn't need any more, her wardrobe is stuffed. But she found plenty of shades and hats and shoes from the scavenger hunt, and she's lookin' gooooooood.

Managed to hook Saige up with a sweet travel arrangment. She was so jazzed about my service, she threw some Qui my way in the form of this rad painting. It's like a drop of water decided to go surfing on the sunset! Or on a bonfire! Anyway, it's hanging on my wall, spreading more Zin. I need all I can get, so says Saige. I think she could use a little more excitement, but that's just me.

And last but not least, I admit it, I've been calling the papparazzi on Meadow. Dudes, she can't take a joke? It's funny! Seriously, who expected the woman to be so uptight? Even Cleo thought it was a laugh. Deshler out.

Welcome Me Back

Welcome me back from the Isle, babes! Or should I say, my Angel. Cleo and I toasted my return with hand blown martini glasses filled with Chateau St. Michelle Eroica Riesling 2007. In layman's terms, we had some great wine, compliments of Fredrica. Sadly, while I was gone, nobody guessed the translation to the phrase I left in my blogs. Too bad, it'll remain a mystery. To be honest, I only heard it, and I have no idea what it means myself. I was hoping you, my brilliant fans, would know. I mean, the people who watch my show are high caliber, am I right? Right.

The hills were green, the pubs were loud, the food was excellent, and the midges were breeding. Yes. I said "midges". They're something like a cross between a gnat and a mosquito, and they move in swarms. Crazy little buggers, apparently they have their heyday smack in the middle of summer--right when I went. Bad move, bros, trust me on this. Do not go in the dead of summer. I was picking them off me for hours.

Brought back these amazing little biscuits though. They're more like cookies, and they're called flakemeal biscuits. They really complemented the wine. By the way, good call Fredrica! You are the Vintage Queen.

And lastly, kicking back and waiting for tomorrow, when the party of all parties will go down--supposedly--at Ari's mansion. Trying to figure out what he wants that he doesn't have already. Any thoughts?

Call Me O'Deshler

Flying high over the States my friends, on my way to Ireland, with a stopover in New York. I've decided to turn my peepers away the gosh-awful inflight movie and update you, my fans and friends, on the happenings in Deshler's life. Or should I say, O'Deshler. Not a drop of Irish blood in me, but I've always wanted to see the place. I hear it's so... green. And chicks with accents knock me off my feet. I wanna give a good impression, so I'm bringing my tube of bronzer. I mean, when you go on vacations, you expect to get sun, right? Granted, it's the middle of summer, but from what I hear, it's still mostly cloud cover on the Isle. They'll wonder how I got the tan, man, and I'll just play it cool, keep it chill. My secrets are my secrets, am I right?

I figured I'd get the munchies over the Atlantic, and those tiny peanut packets just don't cut it for me. So, I took the liberty of lifting a bag of Frederica's tasty little crackers. She won't miss 'em, I'm sure. Awfully addicting little things. Much better than the packet of nuts. Gotta wonder, are they the crew's little way of digging at us? Calling us nuts? But hey, some of us are nuts, so maybe they aren't so far off. Personally, though, I prefer the Irish way of saying it. "He's crackers." Hey, can any of you translate this sentence? I'll tell you if you're right. And give you a packet of peanuts.

Brilliant, I'll just pop out with my brolly and buy a bag of buns, I hear they're fresh off the lorry.

The Daily Dash

Booyeah! This is Deshler's Daily Dash to update you with the latest on the greatest travelicious show in town. True, this isn't the show, but this is the show's blog by the show's star, so it's just as good. And since I'm writing the blog myself, I get to leak some info on where the next location is. If I want to, anyway. Maybe if you beg. Who am I kidding? I don't know where I'll be from day to day, so why should you? Just tune in and find out. Rico's totally gonna hook me up with a new camera, so I'll post all the pics on my site. It's the raddest little thing, and he swears by it.

Meanwhile, I'm taking advice from the Saige-woman and adding a little Zin or Zan or whatever it is to my room. My pad's a mess, but she insisted this would sweeten my Angel's mood right up since we can both sit in it. I can be practical--sometimes. And if Saige says the Del Mar corner seat is romantic, then I'm buying the Del Mar corner seat for Cleo. Well, for both of us. Maybe the seat has extra Zun or something, and it'll spread to the rest of the room.