Mission Impossible

Okay, I gathered a bit of the situation from the dudes running Ari's kitchen. Apparantly I was kidnapped by Aristotle Metropolis. Ari, people, Ari! He stares at a hunk of cheese for hours on end and then orders zebras and peacocks! Yeah, that sounds like a kidnapper. Problem is, I've had some trouble sneaking out of his mansion. First off, it's the size of the White House--with about the same number of bathrooms and bedrooms--and second, it's crawling with people who are frantic that I stay right where I am so they don't lose me again.

Tell me, how am I supposed to go tell the police to cut Ari some slack if I'm cooped up here? But every time I try to leave the kitchen where they have me, I'm "escorted" back and told to wait where I am. Wait my foot, I'm busting outta here and getting Ari loose.

Right after lunch, anyway. I'm starved, and those burgers the chef's cookin' up look incredible.

After that, though, I'm outta here. I'll figure some way out. Hey, anybody out there, you willing to help me break away from these crazy servants?

Ari Arrested?

Dude, what's going on? I was watching the most awesome meteor shower when I heard faint screaming. I looked down thinking maybe Cleo had come to see where I was and was getting attacked by the lions, but it was Ari. I could see police dragging him off. What's going on? I haven't known Ari to do even slightly illegal things.

I couldn't find anything sharp in the room, so I used a bottlecap to chip off a really long, really sharp splinter, and attempted to pick the lock. Pretty sad, huh? But it worked. I guess the lock was so old... anyway, I picked up my laptop and grabbed the quilt too. I was on my way out when one of the staff members with the headphones grabbed me and started yammering that they'd found me. Was that what the whole headphone thing was about? Ari had 'em looking for me? Poor guy. I guess I did kind of vanish.

Maybe they can tell me what Ari did to get himself arrested. I hope it has nothing to do with those crazy lions.

Holed Up

Hmm, not exactly sure where I am, but I can see the whole Island from here. It's the coolest thing, I wish I could bring Cleo. Hehe, I can see parts of the rest of the mansion from here too, and there are people with headsets running back and forth. Wonder what they're doing? I dunno. All I know is I won't bug Ari for a while, I'm outta his way.

It really is a great view from here. I'll have to ask Ari--when he's in a better mood--if this is the highest point in his mansion or something.

If I can get back, that is. Heh, little trouble with the door right now, it kind of locked behind me. But hey, I've crossed countries on a shoestring budget before, I can handle being in a room for a few days, until they find me. There's some dry crackers and a couple of water bottles in the corner, and this really nice quilt. The sunsest is so gorgeous, it's hard to believe it's real.
I'm gonna tuck in now and power down the ol' laptop to save the batteries. No outlets up here, don'tcha know. Night.

Hostage Situation

Gotta hand it to Ari, he knows how to pick a place. I mean, aside from the lions keeping us hostage, this place is the bomb. Did I mention we were being held hostage? Seems the lions ate their fill and now they're hungry again. Aris is trying to find a trapper via the internet as fast as he can, but says it'll probably take a day or two. I'm cool with it. The lions will discourage any more paparazzi as far as I'm concerned. Ari is just worried that his "chef friend" will come over before the lions are trapped. Dude, he still thinks it's a secret, isn't that funny? Like we all don't know at this point. I even found one of his journals lying open, and it was all about how pretty she is, and how wonderful she is, and what amazing cooking skills she has. Enough to make me gag.

Unfortunately, I heard Ari coming, and I had to hide real quick, so I ducked behind a set of those massively heavy drapes he has everywhere and kept still. Ari came in, and he must have seen something off, cause I heard the journal close hard and then footsteps wandering around. He must have started looking to see if anyone was there. He passed by me, and I thought I was in the clear, but my watch picked THAT time of ALL times to yap and remind me that it was 3:00 pm. Did I mention I have a talking watch? I have a talking watch. I think I'll drown it now.

Ari was pissed that I flipped through his journal and confiscated my iKaraoke. Now I think that's a little unfair, but hey, I can still explore the mansion, right? He hasn't confined me to a room or anything... yet.

On the Down Low, Gotta Lay Low

Alrighty, so we're back from the sands, shaking it all out of our shoes. While I have to take mine off, Cleo just has to point her toes down. Such is the beauty of her new open toe buckle shoes, or so she keeps saying. Personally, I don't get what's so special about them, but when I mentioned that, I got a punch in the shoulder, so I hold my peace.

My agent says the ratings on my show took a hit, and that I need to audition for parts in other shows. I was all set on trying out for this new show I heard about, but I couldn't show my face without reporters and paparazzi ganging up on me, asking about the tape that got leaked. You'd think after a week they'd drop it and move on to more important things, but noooo.

I'm thinking about taking my next vacay on Ari's island Ted. Seems like a good place to lay low till the whole Little Bunny Foo Foo bit blows over. To hear them talk, you'd think none of them had ever been kids, sheesh.

Queen of Egypt

The pyramids were cooler than anything any travel guide ever wrote about 'em. Peeps, if you ever get the money, go see the pyramids. Don't read about 'em, don't look at pictures, don't wish you could go, just go. There's nothing like being overshadowed by two hundred tons of bricks shaped into near mathematical perfection. Tight!

Picked up another decoration for the only goddess that matters in this desert; Cleopatra. We visited about three museums today, and all of 'em sang her praises. Well, not to her, to the original Cleopatra, but hey, Cleo was still thrilled to learn more about her namesake, last legit Pharaoh of Egypt. Found a few strings of beads to hang on that gorgeous neck and she went bonkers. Men, jewelry works, and Egyptian gift shops are the bomb.

Our second day ended, and we pulled back to our respective hotel rooms. She popped over to mine to play Wii with me for a bit, but she was zonked. Ended up crashing on my bed. I tucked her in and slipped over to her room. I could tell Cleo had been making it hers, she'd brought her own bedding, dishware, and pillows. Gotta love the woman. Tomorrow's our last day, then we fly back. To all my fans, happy trails and good night. I'm hitting the hay--excuse me, the river reeds--in a few.